Ask Emma: Bridesmaid 101
Brides often e-mail me in search of ways to solve a variety of bridesmaid dilemmas. In many cases, it is just a part of the process, but it spured me to consider the root of these said dilemmas. Truly, most of the woes can be remedied, or even better, avoided completely if bridesmaids follow a few, seemingly simple rules. For the specifics, I turned to Melissa Phillips, wedding planner and owner of Simply Perfect by Melissa. This advice may seem basic if you’re a first-time bridesmaid or if you happen to have been a ‘maid to a near perfect bride. Truth is, no one is perfect, and sometimes as attendants, we need a refresher course in why our role exists.
- Be patient. Planning a wedding is stressful, time consuming, and may seem like the topic of every conversation. Just understand that this is her “big day” – even though you’re not as interested and may have other things happening in your life, try to emulate her excitement.
- Be flexible. You may not like the dress or feel like hiking around for two hours outside taking wedding photos, but again, it’s her day. If you feel strongly against something, have a one-on-one conversation with the bride. If it’s something you can live with, just put on a nice smile and go with the flow.
- Be honest. From the beginning, ‘maids need to share any concerns and/or limitations with the bride (i.e. time constraints, financial limits, etc.). Discussing these things early helps to lay the foundation for the planning process and eliminate any friction.
Additional Information
Get more information about Melissa Phillips at her Web site, Simply Perfect by Melissa.
This time, you’re the bride and need advice? Consult our Ideas & Advice for ideas on how to keep the peace with your bridesmaids.
Ask Emma: Wording Your Wedding Invites
Questions regarding wedding invitation wording have been pouring into my inbox, and, well, this used to be a simple, cut-and-dry answer, but times have changed. We now experience a wide variety of family dynamics and alternatives to the obvious, traditional wedding choices. In turn, we must adjust our advice. Want my modern take on invitation wording? If you choose to be traditional, it’s truly wonderful; if you choose to forgo tradition and create something entirely unique, kudos to you. Neither is wrong; it’s your adventure, and with many couples paying for their own weddings these days, make choices with you and your partner’s best interests in mind - this includes but is not limited to your invitations. Bottom line: For complicated situations, “together with our families” does wonders.
Below are some wedding invitation wording examples, both traditional and creative, for the many complicated scenarios that have landed in my inbox. No answer for your dilemma? Ask us!
Keep It Simple and Include Everyone
Together with their parents
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
on Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
Both Simple and Sweet, Hosted by the Bride and Groom
With joyous hearts
we invite you to attend
the wedding of
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
Food and Merriment to Follow
Musterfield Farm
Sutton, New Hampshire
Hosted By the Divorced Parents of the Bride
With joyful hearts
Mrs. Mary Smith and Mr. William Thompson
ask you to be present
at the ceremony uniting
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
Hosted by Both Sets of Divorced Parents
Mrs. Mary Smith and Mr. William Thompson
with Mrs. Julia Hawes and Mr. Michael Henderson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
A Creative Twist, Hosted by All
Country boy meets city girl
To find out how the story ends
please join us
Emma Thompson and Eric Henderson
together with our parents
as we smile, laugh, cry, eat,
and laugh some more
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
Renewal of Vows
Together they have
found a friendship, raised a family,
and built a beautiful marriage
You are most warmly invited
to share in the celebration with
Emma Thompson and Eric Henderson
as they renew wedding vows
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
Second Marriage, Hosted by Daughter
Sarah Thompson invites you to the
wedding celebration of
her mom and soon-to-be stepfather
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
as they renew wedding vows
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
at three o’clock in the afternoon
The Wentworth by the Sea
588 Wentworth Road
New Castle, New Hampshire
Elopement Announcement
We set sail
for a much needed vacation,
and we tied the knot
in a tropical destination!
Emma Thompson
and
Eric Henderson
were married
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand ten
Nassau, Bahamas
Additional Information
For a traditional approach find more information in www.Elegala.com’s Ideas & Advice. Photo by Dove Wedding Photography.
Ask Emma: Printable Wedding Planner
Okay, so you’re stressed out and that’s totally reasonable because let’s face it-planning a wedding takes a lot of time and organization. It’s easy to see why tasks from setting the budget, to creating the guest list, finding a reception hall, and planning your wedding day ensemble may overwhelm even the most “together” bride-to-be.
This free printable wedding planner can get you through it all unscathed. The handy guide contains all the worksheets and checklists you need to make planning simple. Read it, Print it, put it in your binder or folder – it’s yours to keep.
After you download your complimentary copy, you’ll receive a step-by-step guide walking you through the entire planning process. There isn’t any need for you to spend the next few months fretting about your wedding plans - just follow the easy instructions, use our checklists to ensure you’ve got it all organized, then sit back, RELAX and enjoy this time…
Additional Information
Printable Wedding Planner, www.Elegala.com (yours truly!), FREE
Photo by Liesl Clark, Claris Photography
Ask Emma: Thank You Notes Made Easy
Okay so you just got back from your honeymoon and the impending chore of your thank you notes is stressing you out. Etiquette experts would probably veto multiple choice cards for thank you notes, but these cheeky fill-in-the-blank cards make quick work of writing thank yous in a witty, irreverent manner. In true Mad-Libs style, busy brides can thank gift givers with a few check marks for, say, “the future heirloom,” or “the versatile cash,” and promise to “enjoy it” or “put it out when you come to visit.” Best used for less formal engagement or shower gifts, they offer a sassy way to thank those with a sense of humor. But consider yourself forewarned: You’ll probably still want to go the traditional route when writing your great grandmother about that hand-knitted scarf she gave you.
Additional Information
Knock Knock, knockknock.biz, 800-656-5662, $6.50 for a box of 12
Ask Emma: Good Grooming
Your guy just sprung for the diamond on your left finger and now you want to know how to get him interested in the planning? Slip him The Groom’s Instruction Manual by former groom Shandon Fowler, published by Quirk Books. Stress to him that this is not like the number of other sleepy, how-to planning guides for men that have come before it; Fowler presents the useful basics in a hilarious guy-oriented manner. If your fiance doesn’t believe you, turn to the introduction on foral arrangements that suggests, “most men with any common sense would have already skipped to the next section.”
The point, of course, is that we believe an informed groom is an involved groom, which every bride wants. You may not be so excited when he’s cackling at the bridezilla graphic (the book is full of funny graphics and witty captions to keep them reading), but we’re betting you’d rather he laugh now and plan later than not at all.
Additional Information
Quirk Books, quirkbooks.com, $15.95