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Ask Emma: Bridesmaid 101

Brides often e-mail me in search of ways to solve a variety of bridesmaid dilemmas. In many cases, it is just a part of the process, but it spured me to consider the root of these said dilemmas. Truly, most of the woes can be remedied, or even better, avoided completely if bridesmaids follow a few, seemingly simple rules. For the specifics, I turned to Melissa Phillips, wedding planner and owner of Simply Perfect by Melissa. This advice may seem basic if you’re a first-time bridesmaid or if you happen to have been a ‘maid to a near perfect bride. Truth is, no one is perfect, and sometimes as attendants, we need a refresher course in why our role exists.

  • Be patient. Planning a wedding is stressful, time consuming, and may seem like the topic of every conversation. Just understand that this is her “big day” – even though you’re not as interested and may have other things happening in your life, try to emulate her excitement. 
  • Be flexible. You may not like the dress or feel like hiking around for two hours outside taking wedding photos, but again, it’s her day. If you feel strongly against something, have a one-on-one conversation with the bride. If it’s something you can live with, just put on a nice smile and go with the flow.
  • Be honest. From the beginning, ‘maids need to share any concerns and/or limitations with the bride (i.e. time constraints, financial limits, etc.). Discussing these things early helps to lay the foundation for the planning process and eliminate any friction.

Additional Information

Get more information about Melissa Phillips at her Web site, Simply Perfect by Melissa.

This time, you’re the bride and need advice? Consult our Ideas & Advice for ideas on how to keep the peace with your bridesmaids.

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