Because my wedding is so small (30 person guest list), I’m wondering if it’s OK to invite guests to the bridal shower if they are not invited to the wedding?

Answer, by KB

There are many ways in which wedding etiquette has evolved to meet the needs of the modern bride, but this is not one of them. You can’t expect someone to come to the shower bearing gifts if you haven’t invited her to the wedding; it can make you appear greedy. The shower is a tradition meant to include women closest to the bride, her mother, and the groom’s mother. If you want these women to attend your bridal shower, then they should all be included on your guest list.

Send your wedding planning questions to


  • Ceremony
  • Engagement
  • Families
  • Frequently Asked
  • Groomsmen
  • Guest Lists
  • Honeymoons
  • Invitations
  • Planning
  • Reception
  • Registries
  • Wedding Music