Mother of the Bride Basics

Being the mother of the bride (MOB) isn’t always an easy role. It’s a big job, and one that has changed over the years as brides and grooms become more and more hands-on planning their own weddings.  While customs vary from family to family, here is a general guide of what’s usually expected from the MOB:

MOB – Your Role

  • Be a Crutch Listen, advise when asked, and generally be supportive of your daughter during this exciting – yet often stressful – time.
  • Lend a Hand Offer and be willing to take on wedding planning tasks assigned to you by the bride.
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  • Introduce Yourself If you haven’t already met, contact the groom’s family as soon as possible and arrange a time to meet.
  • Prepare the Budget Discuss and help finalize the wedding budget with the bride, father of the bride, and perhaps the groom’s parents. Learn more about which side traditionally pays for which items at a wedding.
  • Pick your Attire Help the bride find her wedding dress (if asked), and choose your dress as soon as possible after she’s finalized the rest of the wedding party attire. Consult with the bride first about her preferences for your dress. Contact the groom’s mother once you’ve picked your dress to politely inform her of color, style, and formality. Learn more about finding a mother-of-the-bride dress for your daughter’s wedding.
  • Prepare Your List Compile the guest list for your side of the family, consulting with the bride on space and budget limitations. Be the main point of contact and handle any delinquent RSVPs for your side of the list.
  • Attend the Pre-Parties Including the bridal shower, engagement party, and rehearsal dinner (you may even help organize these events).
  • Spread the Word As friends and family members ask, tell them where the couple has registered.
  • Be the Hostess At the wedding reception, make sure guests are comfortable and greeted. Stand in the receiving line and sit at the parents table if there is one.
  • Hit the Dance Floor Dance with the father of the bride (or her escort) and the groom during the first-dance sequence.
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