How to Keep the Peace with Your Bridesmaids and Girlfriends
When it comes to weddings, your girlfriends help you hold it together. Don’t let wedding planning ruin your friendships.
You’re planning a wedding, and emotions are high. Triumphs, upsets, smiles, tears, laughter, doubts – the emotional roller coaster will surely go full force as you prepare for the big day. And so they’re by your side – your girlfriends, that is – offering strength and support along the way to ensure a smooth ride on your journey toward “man and wife.” They’ve done a lot for you over the years, these special women in your life. They’ve wiped your tears through that difficult breakup, cheered when you landed that big promotion, and supported you when you made the snap decision to move across country on a whim in your early twenties.
In fact, your best girlfriends may have been the most important people in your life – up until now. Now you’re planning a wedding, and they’re not. And somehow, you’re no longer in the same place – no longer quite in synch. After the initial congratulatory exclamations subside, distress can erupt on the friendship front. From gripes about bridesmaids’ dresses and wedding-planning logistics, to deeper issues of insecurity and envy, even the best support systems can buckle under the strain.
It’s easy when wrapped up in the drama of wedding planning to lose the force that ties women together in that uniquely female impenetrable bond of friendship. Don’t. If you’re feeling the closeness slipping away amidst your wedding planning, do something about it. These are the people who have stood by your side through all of life’s most monumental transitions. You needed them then; you need them now.
Maintain your relationships with your bridesmaids with these tips:
You’ve heard that communication is key in your relationships with men; the same goes for relationships with your girlfriends. Keep the lines of communication open, and avoid the tendency for tension and division when “one of the girls” gets engaged. With the existence of e-mail, there really is no excuse for losing touch with your friends. Of course, phone calls and face-to-face meetings are always better, but brides-to-be pushed to the scheduling brink can always send a friendly e-mail. And no, every e-mail can’t simply be a wedding update – ask them about their lives, too. (You do remember how to be a friend, right?)
Plan a Girls’ Night
Arrange a girls night, and celebrate them for a change. You probably aren’t doing much wedding planning on a Friday night anyway, so try to round up your girls for a night out on the town. Don’t worry; you don’t have to plan anything (that’s the last thing you need). Just shoot an e-mail (yes, e-mail is fine) to your gal pals with a time and place to meet for a happy hour, movie, or dinner. Your girls are busy too, but even if everyone can’t make it, your friends will appreciate your effort to reach out.
Involve Them In Your Plans
Some of your wedding plans can be a group effort; add a bottle of wine, some cheese and crackers, and you’ve got yourself a fun little get together. No, they’re not your slaves – and you shouldn’t demand your friends spend hours stuffing envelopes. But if they ask to help, take them up on it. Make it fun; chat about non-wedding topics while you work.